She’s sitting barefoot on a cream couch at the center of a warm, wood-paneled room, her toes gently brushing the carpet. Her sister-friends gather around her, glowing in shades of marigold and honeybee yellow. Books and papers are scattered across their laps and the coffee table. In front of her, an ebony bust of a Black woman rises—her braided crown, full mouth, and proud nose reflect the faces in the room. What strikes me most is that Dollbaby isn’t posed beside the art. She’s mid-thought, fully present inside it.
Throughout
Art on My Mind, hooks argues that Black visual politics have long been forged in rooms like this—spaces where Black people construct images of ourselves beyond the white, colonizing gaze. She reminds us that imagination is among the first things domination seeks to possess. At the heart of the book is a vital question: What becomes possible when Black people refuse to surrender ours?
By day, Dollbaby was a financial analyst at R.J. Reynolds. She called the arts and theatre mere “enjoyments,” but by every other measure, they were her calling. A natural organizer, she presided over the SASSY (Sophisticated, Artistic, Spiritual, Stylish, Youthful) Ladies Book Club, served as treasurer of the North Carolina Black Repertory Company, and coordinated volunteers for the National Black Theatre Festival for eight years. She traveled the world collecting art, loved the written word, and shared her creative eye with Black-led efforts. She also mentored young people as a
Big Sister, passing on her love of art and culture. As she told the
Winston-Salem Chronicle, “we have to foster the growth of our youth.”
2Before reading
Art on My Mind, I would not have called Dollbaby an artist. Now I wonder why I trusted the title on her paycheck more than the evidence of her life. Throughout the text, hooks refuses the idea that art is only what gets professionalized, exhibited, or sold. She finds it in looking, collecting, arranging, gathering, dreaming—in the daily work of making beauty manifest. Likewise, for Dollbaby, her art was the world she made possible—and the room she made for others inside it.
Once I saw Dollbaby clearly by way of hooks’s book, I saw the women who came before her too—my great-grandmother Jewel Elem coaxing an award-winning garden from Alabama’s red clay, my grandmother Lois Elem hand-stitching a quilt for every grandchild before college. In my family, beauty was never frivolous. It was how we transformed the terms of living.
Still, when I said I wanted to be a poet, my family urged me to be practical—teach English, earn a living, write on the side. So for nearly two decades, I did. My African imagination followed me into institutions, where I created spaces for other people to dream. But there, imagination had to be translated into programs, partnerships, deliverables, and outcomes. I learned to treat my own artistic practice as something to reach for only after the “real” work was done. I resented that order, even as I kept obeying it.
Somewhere in the margins of
Art on My Mind, I scribbled:
700,000 Black women pushed out of the workforce. Last year, I became one of them. Having my livelihood pulled out from under me was frightening. But beneath the fear was something I was almost afraid to admit: I felt free.
hooks writes of art as a place where we learn what it means to be sovereign. Without an institution to name me, I was suddenly given what the creative process had always demanded of me: time. With it returned a question Nikky Finney posed in her National Book Award acceptance speech: “What about the possibility of one day making a poem?”
“Poem” here is not just literal. The question is larger: What if I shaped my life around imagination, instead of squeezing it in at the edges?
In writing about Lorna Simpson’s
Waterbearer (1986), hooks considers the Black woman as “the keeper of history, the griot.”
3 Simpson’s vinyl lettering reads: “They asked her to tell what happened, only to discount her memory.” Dollbaby and I are both Aquarians—the water bearers. I smile at the coincidence, but I take the task seriously: I will not discount her memory.
And because of bell, I now look differently at that photograph of Dollbaby in her glory. What I once saw as a family keepsake is also an image of inheritance—a blueprint for claiming the artist in myself. hooks writes that “the word
remember (
re-member) evokes the coming together of severed parts, fragments becoming a whole.”
4 That is what I am doing now: re-membering Dollbaby.
I am no longer satisfied with simply seeing her; I want to know her whole, beyond the corporate title that made her life legible, without separating work from pleasure or profession from art. I want to know Dollbaby as Dollbaby—the absolute authority of her own life.
“To want to know is to transgress,” hooks writes. “To tell the truth is to transgress.”
5In conversation with hooks, Carrie Mae Weems proclaims, “I’m an artist trying to figure out how to do this shit.”
6Me too, I think. Dollbaby as well.
The thread my family placed in my hands all those years ago pulls taut.
You are just like Dollbaby.
I give thanks.